Alone, But Not Really Alone

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Today, I am remembering my late husband, Eric. It would have been our 63rd wedding anniversary. God had other plans. He took him home to his eternal reward 4 years ago this month. 

When my husband was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, I hugged him outside the doctor’s office and exclaimed: “We are in this together!” His was a progressive illness, and later he was placed in a long-term care facility. This separation was already a great loss. However, for us it was a tremendous consolation that throughout his declining health, every day together, we sought refuge in God’s Word, in prayer, and in song. Toward the end, in his suffering, he asked God: “If you want to take me home, do it soon.” And to me he said: “Do not be upset when I go.”

I am thankful to God that he did not have to suffer so long and that he has finished the race to be “Home” at last. Now I must finish the race alone – but not really alone. 

We recited this prayer so often: “Be my strong refuge, to which I may resort continually; You have given the commandment to save me, for You are my rock and my fortress” (Psalm 71:3).

Jesus calls us: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

Do I miss my husband? Do I reflect and get sad at times? Of course I do!

I pray that, in my remaining days, I would lead an exemplary, holy life and be a useful vessel in God’s hand. Immersing myself in God’s Word and praying, especially for others, and, yes, reading and hearing hymns and sermons has helped me the most during this time. It is also important to look after the body by getting sleep, good nutrition, quiet times, fresh air, and sunshine.

Being thankful for all of God’s blessings, for a loving family and church family, and maintaining an attitude of gratitude all help to sustain and encourage me.

“I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress; my God, in Him I will trust’” (Psalm 91:2).                

Elvira Feigel

Edmonton, Alberta

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