“I will remember the works of the LORD; surely I will remember Your wonders of old. I will also meditate on all Your work, and talk of Your deeds. Your way, O God, is in the sanctuary; Who is so great a God as our God? You are the God who does wonders; You have declared Your strength among the peoples.” (Psalm 77:11-14)
These words have become my stronghold in the most difficult times of my life. Whenever I think about them, my heart is filled with thanksgiving to God. I did not deserve His mercy and grace, but I can always see His love to me when I recall the miracles He has done for me.
It happened on June 16, 2008 as I drove to work. For some unexplainable reason, I lost control of my vehicle, left the road, and the passenger side of my car struck a tree. I was flown to the hospital by emergency helicopter. My parents were notified by the police that I was involved in a very serious car accident and was on the way to the hospital. When my parents arrived, they were told by the doctor that I was in critical condition. As a result of the crash, I had serious head injuries, and my lungs were severely damaged. I was put into a medically-induced coma, and the next 72 hours would determine whether I would live or die. During this time, my family, as well as many brothers and sisters of the church, fasted and prayed for me. Some days later, as my parents visited me, the doctor told them that they would have to do a tracheostomy on me in order to open a direct airway. They tried to wake me out of the coma but to no avail. That was a huge blow for my parents. On their way home, they stopped at a rest area and pleaded with God to have mercy on me. During the following night, I unconsciously removed my breathing tubes and ultimately woke up from the coma.
I spent five weeks in the hospital and was then transferred to a neurological rehab center. It was there that I relearned to keep my balance and to make movements with my broken arm. My memory and my concentration had suffered greatly through the cerebral hemorrhages. However, through the prayers of my church family, God relieved me of the pain and gave me joy. I was especially happy that I was allowed to sing spiritual songs during my music therapy. My music therapist asked me how I could be so joyful after such a serious incident. I explained to him that all things work together for good to those who love God, even if we can’t understand it at the time. I couldn’t, however, suspect at that time that this awareness would still be severely tested.
In the summer of 2009, I had to spend one year far away from my church and my family to attend vocational rehabilitation. I missed the congregation and the church services terribly. Almost daily, I was confronted with what I could not do (career-wise) as a result of my accident. Many tears were shed during this time, and I sought comfort in God. One day, as my discontentment overwhelmed me and I couldn’t find an answer to the “Why?” the thought came to me to just calm down and listen to a sermon. The brother spoke about Psalm 77:14. After this sermon, I still didn’t have an answer to the “Why?” question, but I knew this: God had given me peace and calmness for my questions.
I still cannot answer the question “Why?” today. But the one thing I do know is that this is what God used to reveal His magnificence to me. He is full of love and thoughts of peace toward us. May His Name be praised!